Friday 20 February 2009

My Brief Foray into the World of Internet Dating – The End

I have had enough of the Internet Dating World. I have now deleted my profile from all three of the dating sites that I had registered with.


Why? You may ask. In my previous posts, I had voiced dismay in the quality of the choices available to me. Things have not improved in the last couple of months. I am unwilling to broaden my search. I am lazy. I want things convenient, on my terms. That’s me being a control freak. Unfortunately, in matters of the heart, there are certain things that one cannot control.


I can, however, control the mail going into my in-box. My in-box is being bombarded with totally useless updates from the dating sites. Remember, I have been on three. ‘So and so has just looked at your profile, click here to see so and so’s profile’ or ‘You have been sent a wink by so and so’ or ‘you are so and so’s favourite.’ I get about 30 or more of these a day. They look, but they don’t leave messages. Or they leave messages like this one I got the other day:


‘hello, where have you been all my life? lol your profile is interesting read would like to know you more look forward to your reply, you sound like nice women you look gorgeous very cute and sound genuine, i like the way you think, you should not be on here let me take you off here your very special, your the most beautiful thing i have seen’
xxx

Age 24


Apart from using incorrect grammar, a friend told me that it was a generic message that must have been sent to hundreds of women. Really! There is not one query or reference to anything on my profile that is remotely personal. I have had a few like this. I have also had this one: ‘not bad for an old bird.’ I think the guy thought he was being funny. He wasn’t. I am mature. My time is precious, not nearly up. I do not want to waste it deleting e-mails from my in-box, especially if they have no real content.


I have had second date with Mr. Out of Town. I am very impressed that he has gotten as far as he has. He has so much going against him. He lives out of town. He is English. I am leaving nothing to chance in the area of personal safety with backup plans at the ready. I have been burnt before and am taking my time and no prisoners.


Plus, I was a complete idiot when I accidentally copied him in on an e-mail to my friend with his phone number and e-mail information, where we were going, etc. I pressed the send button before I could remove his e-mail address. There was a moment of horror when I realised what I had done. There was no way to recall the e-mail, so I took a deep breath and sent him an e-mail saying how sorry and what an idiot I was and that my friends were looking out for me and this is what I was resorting to and sorry for ruining surprise (he didn’t know where we were going) and for him to call me. He will never want to see me again! He will think I am crazy! I felt sick.


He sent me an e-mail. He was a little confused and understands that my friends care about me and he will see me later. I need to redeem myself with this poor man. I know it is better to be safe than sorry, but it is also another thing to be an idiot.


I am a grown-up and I can do whatever I want. I never, ever, have to go on another internet date again. I am quitting while I am ahead. I have already had the nicest dates I have had in a long time. This really isn’t the way I want to meet people. I like references. The thing about meeting people in social situations is that one can actually see how people behave and perhaps slowly get to know each other. Sometimes you even get to meet their friends. I really need to feel the vibe first, before I decide to meet for coffee. It’s almost like going for a job interview otherwise. Application for boyfriend/girlfriend – sorry, you didn’t get the job, no chemistry. It isn’t natural to me. I don’t want to have coffee with a lot of frogs before I meet my prince. I would rather be alone or just go dancing.


I have had two very nice dates with a sweet man who probably thinks I’m mad, and yet he still wants to see me again. So he says. Maybe he’s the one who’s mad. I don’t know how this will turn out as Mr. Out of Town and I are very different. I am just going to live in the moment and see what happens. If he wants to see me again, great. If not, that’s ok too. I will just have to see where this road is going and enjoy the journey as much as possible.

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