A Crisis of Confidence

I have been having a crisis of confidence. I think everyone goes through it now and again. It’s my turn. I have been confused. I have never had an issue about finding work before. I was actually feeling quietly confident that I would find something, but then I momentarily lost my confidence. Why me and why now? Is it me or is it them? I am being told on one hand that I won’t get the salary I had from my last job, and on another I am being told to hold out as I am worth it. The man that told me that is an Angel, and we never even met. I am told I shouldn’t have a problem finding work because of my skills and then I am told that employers are being very picky and job specific.

It is the same about my house. I get told that this is not a good time to sell and then I am told that things are picking up. A friend of a friend told me this morning that my house is too expensive. What business is it of hers? I told her that I wasn’t selling it to her. I got a bit fed up of the negativity coming my way.

It’s the same thing about the internet dating. On one hand I hear really great things about it and the next I hear that it is really dangerous and I should be careful. That last part was also spoken by the friend of a friend. I told her I’m from New York and I know how to handle myself. (I didn’t think she would know where New Jersey was.) I really enjoyed telling her that I met a really nice man through the internet. I can get bitchy in the face of negativity.

I got up early and went to the café on Monday and read a newspaper for the first time in months. It was rubbish. Nothing but doom and gloom. I am surrounded by negativity. Maybe my trusting nature was taken while my back was turned.

The Universe tells me that I need to trust and that everything will be ok. Something happened where I lost that trusting feeling. I don’t know what happened. I don’t know where or when I lost it. I know The Universe is right. I just need to feel it.

A very good friend of mine gave me a pep talk by e-mail. She did to me what I do to everyone else. I cheerlead. For a few days I was all over the place. I was in my head, which is a typical Gemini thing. I was down about work and she reminded me of what I needed to know and helped me to find some faith. I am less confused. I think she has helped me to find my trusting nature again.

I had some interesting news about some potential work. I have some interest in my house. I am finding my faith and paying attention to The Universe. The Universe can’t be rushed. I will get what I need when I am ready. I refuse to let negativity get to me. I refuse to let other people get me down. Embrace the positive and eliminate the negative.

I wonder if earplugs work for that.