My Love Life, Timing and Internet Dating: Part 1

It has been more than six weeks since I mentioned The Internet Man. So much has happened in that time, I barely know where to start.

I last reported that my second date with Internet Man went very well, we were going to see each other again and that I took myself off of the dating sites. Well, two out of three of those things happened. I haven’t seen Internet Man again, and not for lack of trying. Fate or The Universe has intervened. A second date was scheduled. I think I was going to attempt to go up north to his territory and see how the other half lived.

Internet Man and I had regular e-mail contact, so when I hadn’t heard from him for a few days I started to wonder if he was having second thoughts about seeing me again, or that maybe something had happened to him. The man does some extreme sport and drives fast vehicles, so anything could have happened that I wouldn’t know about. Also, he was still on the dating site and maybe he met someone closer to home. My mind was racing with different scenarios.

I sent him an e-mail to ask him if we were still on and if everything was ok as I hadn’t heard from him for a few days. Previously, when I have corresponded with Internet Man I would usually send him a novella and he would reply economically - a complete contrast as the man has no problems with face to face verbal communication. I have found that to be typical of men on the e-mail front. Imagine my surprise when I received a novel back from him. He was sorry he hadn’t been in contact and explained to me in detail about his mother being taken ill and having to go into the hospital.

My first reaction, being the ever compassionate person that I am, was to think, ‘Oh no, the poor guy and his poor mum.’ Then the suspicious side of me took over. ‘Is this his way of putting me off and hoping I will go away?’ Hey, I have been lied to before. Being a Gemini, I also have the annoying knack to see both sides of the coin and to over analyse things. Also, I really don’t know Internet Man very well. We had only just met and had two really nice dates. Who really knows what goes on inside a person’s head unless they tell you?

I was already aware from what he told me about his family that his parents had some health issues. I decided to take the high road and believe him. I replied very sympathetically and supportively that the date could wait until his family situation improved. The last thing the poor man needed was stress coming from me. Anyway, I had already waited this long to go on a date, it wasn’t going to kill me to wait if it was meant to be. I had a lot of things to keep me busy as I was still very pro-active on the job search front.

Every few days Internet Man would send me a report on events and fortunately things improved with his mother. Unfortunately, while his mother was improving, his father had an accident and required hospitalisation and surgery. Talk about bad luck - and the bad me wondering if this was a wind up. The good me took over and offered more empathy and support and reassurance that dating could wait.

By now a few weeks had passed and I was just getting on with my life as usual. I put Internet Man out of my mind as there was really nothing I could do about the situation. From the beginning, I had reservations about internet dating. I still had a very small doubt about Internet Man. It was a feeling I couldn’t put my finger on and which wasn’t about him particularly, it was more about me. Something was holding me back and I couldn’t work out what it was.

My best friend said that I wasn’t that into him. Hmmm. I had to really think about that. Internet Man is a very attractive man - better looking than I expected and quite tall and fit. He was very sweet and polite and felt to me to be a really nice man. I didn’t get any alarm signals being around him. In fact, I was quite attracted to him and was willing to try and find out if something would come out of dating and to see if we would fit, so to speak. I did have reservations about how far away he lived and was told by a few friends that the distance wasn’t really that far and wouldn’t make much difference if we really liked each other. Somehow that really didn’t comfort me and I couldn’t ‘feel’ good about going north.

I have another good friend who told me that just because The Universe offers us an opportunity, that doesn’t mean we have to say ‘yes’. I think that The Universe does send us what we think we need in order to make a good decision, even if it is to say ‘no, thank you’. I really didn’t want to get involved with something that wasn’t going to be right for me, after all I have waited a long time to date again, and I had to pay attention to what my body was telling me. I was feeling a very subtle resistance there was no doubt about that. I felt that what my friend had to say made a lot of sense and when I put the situation into that context I felt a whole lot better.

In some way the turn of events provided me with the space I needed so that I wouldn’t rush into anything and I was, therefore, able to process my feelings. So I thanked The Universe for sending me Internet Man, but that I was going to pass as it didn’t feel 100% right to me. Now I just needed to tell Internet Man and decided to wait until he contacted me.

I eventually heard from Internet Man again to tell me that his parents were on the mend and that he was looking forward to seeing me again real soon, unless my circumstances have changed. They did, I met someone. But not before I already decided to pass on Internet Man. While I was getting on with my life and waiting for Internet Man to get in touch with me fate or The Universe intervened again.